I try to be strong

Written by Daniel Parnell, bereaved father supported by Very Special Kids.

I feel the loss of my son Marcus every day.

This loss is felt more keenly just prior to special days, the sting of it becomes almost too much to bear. Father’s Day is particularly painful for me as every few years it coincides with the anniversary of my son’s death.

The lead up to the day is usually the worst. It is the anticipation of the pain rather than the reality of it.

Around these times the house gets more and more tense and tempers flare more easily than usual. I try to be the strong one, but around Father’s Day I allow myself a little time off from being the one who has to keep it all together. Just a day or so, and then back to it.

Around Father’s Day the reality of what I have lost, not just my son Marcus but all the things he should have done in life, hits me.

What would he be into now? Would he be playing a sport at school? Who would his friends be? What books would he like? But he’s gone and it will never be.

Coping with the loss is all I can do and the only choice I have is how I will go about it.