Ask, don’t assume
Grieving families and those managing a child’s complex health condition have unique needs. It’s important to ask what would make their holiday season easier, instead of making an assumption on their behalf. 

For example, while one bereaved family might appreciate having their child’s memory acknowledged at the dinner table, this might be difficult for a sibling who struggles with grief in public. Where possible, enquire in advance or in a private setting. This simple gesture can help ensure you respect boundaries while still showing you care.

Send the invite
An invitation can go a long way, especially for a family who may be feeling isolated from their community. Make it clear that there is no pressure to accept, and that the invitation is extended with understanding that they may need space or be unable to participate.

This gesture can provide a sense of belonging and show that they’re still valued and included, even if they can’t fully engage.

The gift of practical support
The logistical and emotional challenges of the holiday season can often be overwhelming for families who have or have had a child with a life-limiting condition. Be mindful of their ability to participate in events, contribute to meals or engage in gift giving. Offering flexibility in these areas can alleviate a lot of stress.

For example, you might be able to help with meal deliveries, offer to take care of errands or organise a spring cleaning to help the family start the new year fresh. Additionally, if a family has a child with complex health needs, be prepared and accommodating of any last-minute cancellations or changes that are out of their control.

Create inclusive and comfortable environments
Try to make your celebration inclusive for everyone. For example, if a child with complex needs is attending you might need to adjust the environment to accommodate a wheelchair or temperature regulations, have a quiet space the family can retreat to or leave space in the fridge for special dietary requirements.

For bereaved families, it can be helpful to ask how they would appreciate their child being honoured on days like Christmas. This could be as simple as including a special ornament on the tree, a candle on the table or spoken words of acknowledgement during your celebration. Having this foresight can help some families feel more prepared when arriving at a full, noisy home of people.

Thoughtful gift ideas
A gesture like tickets to a family outing, a show or an experience can be a wonderful way to show your support and help families create beautiful lasting memories together.  

For bereaved families, it can be a lovely gesture to provide a gift in memory of their child. For example, you might donate a gift that the child may have liked at the age they would be now or make a donation to a charity in their child’s memory.